Have you heard of a nighttime doula?
If you’ve been looking through the directory trying to find the right doula for you you may have noticed that some doulas are offering “night doula” services. This service is growing in popularity and for good reason.
You’ve heard of a birth doula who supports your practical and emotional well being through your pregnancy and birth. You’ve heard of a postnatal doula who supports your practical and emotional well being during the time you’re adjusting to having a new baby. So what does a night doula do? You’ll not be surprised to hear, a night doula supports your practical and emotional well being at night!
Night doulas work with families who need the extra support at nighttime. Most often this is needed in the first few weeks while your baby is needing a lot of night time care. But you may also find you need extra support when your baby is 4 months and sleep is more challenging or when they are 10 months and again a developmental leap means less sleep and more benefit from support. A night time doula is for a specific challenging time period though not for regular childcare like a nanny or night nanny may be.
Night doulas are not sleep consultants. They aren’t there to give you a sleep plan or to “sleep train” your child. They will work according to the instructions you give them for how you want things done just like a postnatal doula would when caring for you during the day. They will stay up with you while you feed and then take the baby while you go straight back to sleep and/or they will give your baby a bottle and let you sleep a longer stretch if that’s what suits you. But they won’t tell you whether you “should” choose any particular course of action or make any specific feeding choice. Night doulas are also different to night nurses as they aren’t childcare professionals. They don’t give childcare advice and the care they take of your baby is focused on supporting you during the night.
To get a better idea of what night doulas do and what they don’t do Hampshire Doulas talked to Rachel from Creative Birth
Thank you for agreeing to tell us all about night doula work, Rachel. So as well as night doula work that we’re going to be hearing all about what other doula services do you provide?
I offer birth, postnatal days, postnatal nights, antenatal classes, and virtual doula services as well as pregnancy and postnatal massage.
What made you decide to offer night time postnatal doula services as well as all the other support you were already offering?
I saw it as meeting a need in the community, parents seem to find night support preferable to day support in some cases, as sleep seems to be a huge priority and benefits all areas of parenting. Night work also enables me to spend time with my own family- some who are home educated during the day and some who have care needs.
Can you share some of the ways that you provide support as a night time doula?
As a night doula I offer a free face to face consultation with the family to find out what kind of support they are looking for. For some, it is simply to take the baby up, and stay in the nursery overnight so that the family can sleep for a full night. It varies enormously though, some families have older children who co – sleep so the baby requires an extra pair of hands at first, some mothers are breastfeeding and ask for me to burp and settle the baby in between feeds. One mum hired night doulas so that she could tandem feed her baby and her toddler. Some mums pump breastmilk for us to feed during the night. Sometimes a family just books ad hoc nights because Dad has gone away for the night and Mum feels more comfortable with a doula in the house. Until you meet the family you don’t know what their needs are – and often they don’t either. Night needs evolve just like day time needs and we always have a good discussion about what the family needs on arrival each night. I also keep a log of everything that I have done overnight – feeds, nappies times etc so that they can see any patterns that are happening.
What’s your usual routine when you work as a night time doula?
For me, nights are 10 hour shifts, though often parents ask for 12. The family usually provides somewhere for me to “sleep” if I can between duties, it’s often the baby’s room. On arrival I spend some time with the family, checking the last time the baby was fed/ changed and what the family’s expectations are for the night. Sometimes mums need a cup of tea and a hug, other times they just need to go straight to bed, or they have other children to tend to. After that, most of a night shift is generally sole care of the baby except for waking mums who want to breastfeed throughout the night. Duties include feeding, winding, settling, and changing the baby. Often (nowadays) families ask for us to hold the baby as a way of ensuring they stay upright for a good amount of time between feeds – especially babies with reflux- or to carry the baby in the sling. I often get asked to help mums or dads to use a sling, and to sign post the family to safe baby wearing and co-sleeping advice. Other times parents just need to know they’re not alone, or not doing anything “wrong” if their baby wakes up during the night. Some parents ask for babies to be woken for a feed to ensure that they are taking the right amount of milk. As well as keeping a log, I always wash and sterilise all the bottles, and leave them ready so that mum doesn’t have to rush in the morning.
How is your night time doula service the same as your day time postnatal service? And how is it different?
For me, daytime postnatal services tend to involve less time in “sole care” of the baby, and more collaboration with mum. For example, if a family is parenting multiple small children or babies, there might be some time entertaining an older child, or perhaps meal prep. Daytime doula work can involve mum delegating some chores, or asking you to take care of the baby whilst she showers/ takes care of her own chores.
Both daytime and night time doula work tend to involve active listening, hearing about the birth and the family’s journey with the new baby.
Do you charge the same or different for night time hours as day time hours?
For me, nights are more expensive because: they tend to be longer shifts, they tend to require more sole care of the baby, and because naturally they require a change in the doula’s lifetime routine to be able to accommodate – meaning that she might have to change any day shifts she has, or daytime responsibilities. For this reason, I like to get a rough idea how many nights a week families require so that I can book either further night work or day work around their needs.
Is there an age range of the babies in the families you work with at night time?
The youngest baby I have cared for overnight has been 5 days old. I am generally called between age 1-2 weeks old, and generally stay until 8-10 weeks, tapering off generally as baby gets older although in some cases like PND for example I could stay for up to 6 months
Is there an age you feel it’s more common for people to look for the support of a night doula?
It seems to be quite rare to get booked for postnatal nights BEFORE baby is born (although occasionally it does) it tends to be more around week 1-2, especially if Mum has had a cesarian, if she knows Dad is working away, or if older children make night time juggling quite difficult.
Is there anything you specifically don’t offer as a night doula? Is there anything you’ve ever been asked to do and refused?
I don’t take care of pets- if pets have accidents in the night, I will alert the parents. Sometimes I get asked to take care of baby’s laundry in the early mornings- but I will only do so with explicit instructions on how to use the machine etc. I can help settle , bathe or clear up over older children’s dinner times, but generally I don’t take care of any older children’s needs at night. I don’t offer advice on night time routines or how to get a baby to sleep. I listen more to what the family is saying, refer to guidelines, and do whatever they ask- eg contact nap, or place baby in cot or whatever is their routine.
I also don’t offer a morning shift following a night shift, though families do often ask for this, I don’t feel I can give appropriate care after 12 hours.
Do you offer a fully awake support night or do you sleep in the times that the baby is sleeping and wake when the baby wakes?
This totally depends on the family.
Do you do everything during the night while the parents sleep or do you support the parents as they do things for/with their baby at night – for example feeding the baby?
Whatever they ask. I can offer breastfeeding or pumping support over night, or I can fully formula feed- or a combination.
How would you say having a night time doula is different for the family to having a night nanny and or maternity nurse?
We (doulas) are not expected to do full, night time sole care every night. We CAN but that tends to change the role a bit. We are there to support parents with whatever routine (if any) they have in mind or whatever choices they want to make. We don’t expect mum to be fully formula feeding so that we can “take over”. We can sit and go through mum’s options for her if she wants, and help signpost her to advice, as well as listening to her and discovering what she wants for that night. We take it a night at a time. Nothing is assumed.
What’s your understanding of how the role of the night doula differs from the role of the night nanny and or maternity nurse?
I recently recommended a family look for a night nanny instead of a doula. The family wanted full sole care for the entire shift. They had daytime postnatal doula support to work with them through their choices. They wanted 7 nights a week. I would say that is more looking for a nanny role, especially if a family is well supported during the day, they just need the bedtime hours taken care of. Also if they are looking to sleep train or place their baby in a routine I would say that is the role of a nanny or maternity nurse instead of a doula.
A doula can share the work load but she is not there to implement anything, and she may not be trained to- (I personally am not trained to put a baby on a sleeping routine for example).
As a night doula do you offer sleep coaching or sleep consultant services?
I do not offer sleep training, coaching or consultancy. I would not feel prepared to undertake this task. IF a parent is doing some form of sleep training as part of their routine I will help them by offering continuity but I could not advise or even suggest a routine, I could only sign post them to sleep coaches or consultants.
Is there anything else you’d like to tell me about your experience as a night doula?
Just like with any doula work, you NEVER know what to expect. You might go in thinking a Mum is going to formula feed so that she can sleep at nights and be her best self during the day, and then find that BECAUSE she had a few night’s sleep, she was able to breastfeed past the first few weeks. You might find a mum asks specifically for breastfeeding support but actually doesn’t want to feed, she feels pressured into it. You might find that a mum would prefer to co-sleep. You just don’t know. You are learning alongside the family and you are there as an extra pair of hands not to take over! The best thing in the world is when you have been doing nights with a baby and then all of a sudden you show up one night and they SMILE when they see you 🙂
