Next in our interview with a doula series we meet Gemma. Gemma is a birth and postnatal doula based in Wiltshire and also working in North and West Hampshire .
Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed Gemma. Let’s chat about what motivates you as a doula and what challenges and inspires you.
Where did you hear about doulas?
After having our first son, I had often toyed with the idea of leaving my current role in Event Management and retraining as a midwife. It didn’t feel like it was the right thing to do at the time but that’s when I first heard of doulas. It was after the birth of our second son that I explored the idea of becoming a doula.
What made you want to be a doula?
I had the most incredible and empowering birth with our second son and a pretty tricky postnatal journey with our first son so I wanted to help others feel positive after their birth, show them that they have choices and hopefully achieve the birth they want as well as provide support postnatally too.
Thinking about how my first postnatal experience could have been very different (if I had had a doula), I hope to provide reassuring support to ease the transition to parenthood or when dealing with the challenges of a growing family.
What did your friends and family say when they heard you were thinking about becoming a doula?
Most people didn’t know what one was! But after I explained, they said, ‘wow, go for it, you’ll be so great at that’.
What’s your favourite thing about being a doula? Is there anything you find challenging?
I feel so honoured to be a part of a very personal and life changing time in people’s lives. To witness a new life coming in to the world is a real priviledge and seeing parents grow in confidence fills me with joy.
I often feel frustrated and find it challenging to hear if people have been treated unfairly or haven’t been listened to in the past. Hearing about unwelcome unsolicited advice (and which lacks any evidence) from well meaning friends/family really gets my goat too!
What’s your top tip for anyone who is trying to decide if a doula is right for them?
Do your research. Look at the benefits of having a doula (countless!) and speak to a few to find one who is the right fit for you.
What’s your favourite thing to do in an antenatal appointment as a birth doula?
Getting to know my client and their partner, if they have one. I then know how I can best support them when it comes to labour and birth. As research shows, continuity of care has such a positive impact on a birth experience so building a rapport is key.
What’s the best and most challenging things about being on call for you?
The best thing is the anticipation of getting the call! The biggest challenge is the anticipation of having to organise childcare, potentially quite last minute!
What’s your top tip for your clients for working with their body in labour?
Surrender to the process of birth and move instinctively…your body was made for this!
What’s your top tip for birth partners for during labour or birth?
Quietly observe. Keep busy by reading or doing something like colouring/puzzles (don’t spend hours on your phone though!) Unless you are asked to do something or it’s obvious your physical support is required, try not to interfere. And be the best cheerleader you can when it’s needed!
What do you always remember to keep in your doula bag?
A comb, essential oils and snacks!
What’s your favourite thing to do in a postnatal appointment as a birth doula?
Ask the family how they really are over a cuppa. Having someone totally impartial to speak to, who will listen without judgement or agenda can make a difference between a positive and negative postnatal experience.
If you’re booked as a postnatal doula before baby is born what do you like to do to prepare for working with a family?
A postnatal planning session. Understandably a lot of focus is on labour and birth but we often overlook what life will look like once the baby is here and how we might navigate those early weeks and months.
What’s one task that you enjoy when you’re working with a family?
I love cooking and the thought of a family being nourished without having to put in a lot of effort themselves makes me feel warm and fuzzy!
What gives you the most job satisfaction when you’re working with a family?
Knowing dinner is in the oven for later, the family has caught up on some rest and the washing is done (for today!)
How do you know when it’s time to finish working with a family? Do you have a set number of hours or weeks or is there something less tangible?
It’s often obvious when it’s time for me to go but there is no time scale. The family has grown in confidence and they no longer need me…a sad moment but it fills me with joy to see them thriving.
Do you work a set number of hours a day or week? Do you work days, evenings, nights, do you offer live in care?
I have two young children so at the moment I fit in postnatal sessions around the school day and the days our youngest is at nursery. I also offer nights which suits me well and gives the new family an opportunity to catch up on some much needed sleep.
Are there any tasks you’ve done before that you wouldn’t do again? Or any tasks you’ve already said no that’s not in my remit as a doula?
I don’t mind a bit of cleaning such a running the hoover around but I wouldn’t want to spend a whole session cleaning, it doesn’t feel like the right type of support to me.
If you think Gemma sounds like the person you would love to have on your team for your birth or postnatal journey you can contact her through her Hampshire Doulas listing.
Hampshire Doulas 