It’s our third in this “interview with a doula” series. In this post Sarah chats to Alex who is a birth and postnatal doula and also a cognitive behaviour psychotherapist. Alex is based near Southampton and works throughout Hampshire.
Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed Alex. Let’s talk about what motivates you as a doula and what challenges and inspires you in your work.
What made you want to be a doula?
The shock of my own birth of my daughter (assisted delivery), and the imprint this left on her, is what lead me on my path to become a doula. Learning of the value of continuous support from someone who knows you and your preferences through pregnancy and then throughout labour, of the importance of antenatal preparation with regards to mobility and listening to your intuition, amongst many other things, are what put a fire inside me to train as a doula to support women and birthing people to have better experiences. I am also especially passionate about baby’s experiences of birth and sharing this with others. Coming from a work background in mental health and witnessing the ripple effect from trauma, I am very much motivated by a desire to support the mental health of the next generation of mothers, babies and their families.
What did your friends and family say when they heard you were thinking about becoming a doula?
They could hear the passion and enthusiasm in the way I spoke about birth, and the way this differed to the usual narrative, and realised this new career path was here to stay! Understanding the way in which I have held space for many years for people in my previous line of work (psychological therapy and before that mental health nursing), this also didn’t seem a huge leap for many of my friends and family.
What’s your top tip for anyone who is trying to decide if becoming a doula is right for them?
Being a doula is all about holding space, and holding space is all about leaving your own opinions, your own ego, at the door when walking into a birth. I would encourage someone thinking about training as a doula to consider any boundaries they have around birth, and limits to what they feel they could support. How would they think/feel/react if someone had birth plans that were not aligned with their own, could they set their own views aside to support this person? This, for me, is what supporting birth comes down to, and awareness of one’s boundaries is vital.
What’s your top tip for your clients for working with their body in labour?
This needs to really start as early as possible in pregnancy (even earlier), but starting to listen to their intuition and their gut feeling about things, notice when this shows up, how it feels, what can throw it off course, and how that feels. This can be a valuable lesson in starting to hone a key ingredient in labour, but that, as humans, we have become quite disconnected from.
This will really help a person tune in to their body, notice when things feel ok, and when they don’t; turning inwards, trusting that all the information that is needed is within them, leaves less room for the need for external information or validation.
What’s your favourite thing to do in an antenatal appointment?
I like to bring the therapist side of me in to my work as a doula by diving into a person’s deep rooted beliefs, about birth, but ultimately about themselves. This exploration of a person’s mindset is about becoming aware of and giving voice to any mental obstacles that get in the way of envisaging their dream birth.
I believe in the importance of labour preparations in terms of understanding birth physiology, supporting movement, and planning for nourishment, rest, comfort measures, and emotional support, but the heart of what I do and offer is this work on mindset.
What’s your top tip for birth partners for during labour or birth?
Again I think this comes in the antenatal planning stages – the more time that is put in here, the easier things will flow during labour and birth. Listen to your partner, really listen to them about what they want, what their vision is, how that would make them feel, and how they think you can support them. Start supporting them to listen to their intuition and then support them to follow this, whether this is related to birth specifically or other areas of their life, support them to get familiar with this inner voice.
Get comfortable with the idea of seeing their partner in discomfort, and knowing it is not their job to fix this, but to listen, to encourage, and to tell them what an incredible job they’re doing. Because often that is all it takes to get them over the hurdle of self doubt in a tough moment of labour.
What do you always remember to keep in your doula bag?
A comb! (natural pain relief using acupressure points). Snacks. Toothbrush and paste /mints.
If you feel like Alex would be the person you would like with you as you go through your pregnancy, birth and postnatal journey you can contact her through her Hampshire Doulas listing.
Hampshire Doulas 