Our second in a new series of blog posts where Sarah interviews some of our local Hampshire Doulas. Next up is Lucy who is a birth and postnatal doula and runs Pregnancy and Postpartum Circles. Lucy works in Bournmouth and New Forest areas.
Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed Lucy. Let’s talk about what motivates you as a doula and what challenges and inspires you in your work.
Where did you hear about doulas?
When I was pregnant with my second child, I joined the Facebook group ‘Home Birth Support Group UK’ which is run by a doula. I then looked into what the role was out of curiosity!
What made you want to be a doula?
I had a traumatic first birth and could have really used advocacy and someone to help me navigate a system that I assumed was there to support me. I spent my next pregnancy getting as informed as possible and essentially doulaed myself through my second pregnancy and birth. It was a game changer. In the process I realised I wanted to support others to have whole and wonderful births where they felt at the centre of decision making and knew their own power, so I trained as a hypnobirthing and antenatal educator…but loved the idea of being a doula. Convinced I couldn’t be a doula with young children, I looked into it some more and spoke to some doulas, booked my training course and never looked back!
What did your friends and family say when they heard you were thinking about becoming a doula?
Mostly “what’s a doula” and “how will you make that work!”
What do they think about it now you’ve been doing the job for a while?
Friends are really supportive and it’s now ‘just what I do’. My family are mostly supportive, but they do struggle with me being on call, as they are also on call in a way. I think the chain of support is beautiful, but I’m not sure they see it the same way!
What’s your favourite thing about being a doula? Is there anything you find challenging?
My favourite thing is probably building relationship. It’s such a joy to get to know people at such a momentous stage of life. To find out what matters to them, what they need to feel safe and supported, and to walk alongside them as they go through this rite of passage. It’s truly an honour. It’s also pretty bloody special to witness birth and to see the pride afterwards – I swear every woman I see birthing, however that birth unfolds, I look at and see a goddess. In the mess, in the tearful moments, in the guttural roars, in the blood – there is something so very visceral and also beautiful in all of it. Ordinary and extraordinary.
The biggest challenge is probably making it work around having young children. It can also be really tough when someone is struggling postpartum and you know them well by that point and just want to make it all better – I have to remind myself I am there to support and not to rescue!
What’s your top tip for anyone who is trying to decide if a doula is right for them?
Meet them in person! The energy in your birth space really matters. You need to feel comfortable with someone. Are they easy to talk to? Do you feel any judgement/do your spidey senses tingle? This is a good time to flex listening to your instincts. Do you feel a connection with them? I wouldn’t get too hung up on experience or training courses – birth is an instinctive process and who is in your space needs to feel instinctively right.
What’s your favourite thing to do in an antenatal appointment?
Having a cuppa and cake and chatting like you’re just hanging with a friend! It’s not all about birth, but also about getting to understand each other. Birth planning is probably second on the list, because it’s such a great way to really dig into how they are envisioning things and to talk through different scenarios – this really helps in starting to prepare for advocacy.
What’s the best and worst things about being on call for you?
The best is knowing you’re off to hold space at this birth you have been working with someone/a family to prepare for. The worst is the anxiety that you’ll let them down – the what ifs – what if my childcare doesn’t answer the phone? What if I get a vomiting bug? What if I don’t have signal and I don’t realise. Of course you don’t let any of this show! And none of it has ever happened, but it’s always a relief to get the call, head off and know it has all worked out!
What’s one thing you usually do at a birth?
Offer water/a drink. Everything else varies so much, but everyone needs to drink and it’s easily forgotten!
What’s the longest you’ve ever been with someone in labour? What’s the shortest time?
The longest I’ve been with someone is 30 hours (birth was maybe 24 of that), the shortest is about five, but baby was born within five minutes of my arrival. There is always a fair bit of time after a baby comes earthside. Holding space for the birth of the placenta, protecting undisturbed time, making snacks, cleaning etc!
What’s your top tip for your clients for working with their body in labour?
Honestly not to over prepare, to respond in the moment and to know that whatever they do is ok and right.
What’s your top tip for birth partners for during labour or birth?
Make sure you are ok so you can support your partner. Don’t stop eating and drinking, rest in the quiet moments. The more rested and nourished you are, the better able you are to support your partner when they need it most. And being ok is also being ok emotionally – prepare for birth as much as you can – understand that noise and struggle and needing love and reassurance are normal and not a sign anything is wrong.
What do you always remember to keep in your doula bag?
Most things in my doula bag don’t change (and the water spray is VERY popular), but the thing that signifies I’ve gone on call is having my client’s fave snacks on hand. Even though they provide their own, it’s so helpful to be able to offer a fave sweet, spoon of honey, dried fruit etc as a little energy boost. To be honest though, most things can be improvised. I recently made a heat pack out of a rubber glove!
What’s your favourite thing to do in a postnatal appointment?
Whatever is needed in the moment. Space to debrief birth is always important, but otherwise it’s responding to what each person/family needs. I hate washing up at home, but doing a load for a family with no dishwasher and seeing the relief on their face is a great feeling. My favourite thing is knowing that my time with them made a difference in some way.
If Lucy sounds like someone you would love to have support you at your birth then you can contact her via her Hampshire Doulas website listing.
Hampshire Doulas 