When we talk to doulas and any service-based businesses we often tell them a good way to decide how to present themselves on their website, social media and any marketing they produce is to imagine their ideal client and what they are looking for.
So when you’re looking for the right doula for you a good place to start might be to imagine the ideal doula for you. It’s likely that several doulas will fit with what you’re looking for so in the end it always comes down to trusting your gut to make that final choice. But thinking through, and reading up on, what doulas do and what I want my doula to do or be like is a good place to start.
Doula is not a regulated profession.
This means that anyone can set up and call themselves a doula and sell their services. So it’s up to you to think about what’s important to you in terms of the education, experience and ethos that you’re looking for in a doula.
If you’re looking for regulation or accountability from an outside source you might want to look for a doula who is a member of Doula UK or who has trained with an organisation that has a code of conduct or mentoring process as part of what they provide for the doulas they train. Alternatively, as being a doula is so much more about who you are than what you know, you may feel that spending time learning about a doula you’re interested in and their personal experiences, philosophy and values is what is important to you.
Some questions you might want to ask yourself or ask a doula you’re interested in.
When you’re first researching doulas you will have a few things that are non-negotiables for you. These are the things that will allow you to quickly and easily make a short list of doulas you want to know more about and potentially meet.
One of the most important questions to be certain of the answer to with anyone you will invite to be with you during your most intimate and vulnerable moments is
“Does this person align with my personal values?”
If your faith or culture is very important to you and you want someone who understands that from a personal viewpoint. If being open-minded or inclusive is vital for someone to gain your trust. If being fully supportive of your life or values and preferably having some level of experience with similar choices is what matters (e.g. I live in a yurt on a farm and plan to birth here have you ever been to a birth off-grid or I it’s very important to me that I birth on the labour ward with an epidural are you supportive of that). You will grow in understanding of each doula’s personal vibe and values the more you get to know them but you will also start to get an idea from their listing, website and social media. It’s completely fine for your first contact to be a simple email with that one question that will tell you if this non-negotiable is inside of this doula’s comfort zone.
In your first email or call you will want to address the basic practical questions about if this doula is available for when you’re birthing or will have a new baby. Include your estimated due date and anything you’re looking for in terms of extra things while you’re pregnant such as hypnobirthing classes or reflexology treatments which some doulas may also offer on top of their doula services.
Questions to ask in an interview or initial chat.
Practical questions.
What’s included in your package? Do you charge extra for petrol/mileage?
Can you drive me to the hospital?
Do you have a backup doula? Do you offer shared care?
Do you know any other doulas I can also interview?
Questions about birth pools: how do you: maintain temperature, empty it, fill it, bring it…hire it? Do you have one?
Do you have a birth stool?
Do you do the cleaning? Cook? Walk the dog? Feed the cat? Wash or hang out laundry? Do ironing?
Can you help me prepare for breast/chest feeding? Can you support me with breast/chest feeding if we have challenges?
Do you teach hypnobirthing?
Do you make placenta smoothies?
Will you look after my older children?
Do you teach baby massage/pre or postnatal yoga/baby sign language/etc?
Do you have any meet-ups with other local parents you can recommend?
Questions about how your doula works.
Do you have to be at the birth with me or can you help me prepare?
How will you work alongside my partner? How will you benefit my birth partner? How will you work as a team?
How do you feel about being my only birth partner?
What type of births do you support? Will you support a home birth? Hospital birth? Free Birth? Elective cesarean birth? Have you supported VBAC’s & HBAC’s? Do you support breech births?
Have you had experience with clients with bicornuate uterus/herpes/strep B/high BMI/vaginismus/survivors/any special mental & physical health needs/any specific health concern I may have?
Do you argue with midwives?
How do you feel about my children being at my birth?
How would you respond if a Dr./Midwife tells me to do something you knew I was against in my plan?
Will you tell me when it’s time to go to the hospital?
Do you do vaginal exams? Take my blood pressure? Give me pain medication? The answer to this should always be no. Doulas are not medical professionals and if you’re looking for someone to do these things you need to be looking for an independent or private midwife, not a doula.
Can you use/help me use aromatherapy?
Can you use/help me use homoeopathy?
Questions about your doula as a doula and a person.
How did you become a doula?
Why do you do this work?
Do you have children?
What was your childhood like? What did you do for a job before you were a doula?
Please don’t be offended if a doula chooses not to share too many details of their personal life with you, you’re looking for a professional with skills in supporting you in your choices, not a friend to have a general chat with. You will find most of us are more than happy to chat about something from our childhood that we’ve already shared on our social media for example but not looking to go into detail about how we maintain our personal marriage/significant romantic relationships.
Our gift to you to help you get your thoughts in order when looking for a doula:
Hampshire Doulas 